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Good Subscriber Account active since Shortcuts. Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders. It is the whole wedding. The person who wrote this clearly only wants people to elope! Not to mention, your wedding is supposed to be about the bride and groom, not the guests, it is the one day that a normal woman gets to be a princess and a man gets to be a prince. I can tell you that this is a rather accurate list and on the most part very true. My point is that the only one who really cares about some of these things is the bride herself.
If she needs all the frilly invitations, fine linen tablecloths and napkins, a 23 tiered cake and a bunch of wedding favors that most people are never going to use in order to make herself feel like a Princess a broke princess but a princess none the less then have-at-it.
People will remember the entertainment, the ceremony and finally the food…spend the bulk of you budget on these things and you wedding will likely be a success.
If you want to spend a tonne of cash on the little things then do so even though the majority of guests will not care about them months down the line. You basically thinks that nothing matters in a wedding. As I guest, I pain attention in everything! The quality of the paper and the size of the invitations tell me how elaborated will be the party.
Wedding with no flowers? Nobody pain attention on the tablecloths? A party is made of details! As a guest, I look at everything! I even touch the flowers to see if they are real! And the bridal dress is just the most expected thing…. So many haters out there! Put your efforts into growing a life together.
BTW — I liked the list. Ah, the modern wedding, where the ceremony must be kept short and your guests must be kept drunk. But at the same time, kind of makes me hold my friends and loved ones a little closer.
I have to say, i pretty much agree. I work as a waitress at an up class winery that hosts a lot of weddings, and I cannot tell you how many of those party favours we collect at the end of the night because no one bothered with them.
Us girls often get bunches of flowers because what else are they going to be used for? A couple other friends went to the rescue and made up an alternate playlist, but it took the party a little while to get going.
Get good food that your friends and family will like, be nice to the staff and they will go out of their way to be helpful both as the couple, and a guest and try to work out ways for everyone not to get sloshed. My wedding was almost completely DIY. My awesome mother and I made ALL the flowers and centerpieces people were begging to take the centerpieces home. My cousin gratefully made our cakes, my brother and mother did the music, and we wrote our vows.
I completely agree with the list, except for the flowers!!! All of these negative comments of what was suggested. As a mom of two young women in their twenties and will soon be having two weddings, I appreciate these thoughts. And seriously the invitations get thrown out!! NO ONE saves them! Its a waste of paper so do a tree a favor and cut back on the invitation nonsense.
Keep it simple. We get it. I never understood women who spent thousands on a dress. Whats the point? We will take bets at the classy beer pong table and proceeds benefit the sanctuary.
It may look pretty for a few hours, but no one will remember what it looked like, their memories of what they did and who they saw is what they ALWAYS remember! Aww you poor bribes in the comment section! One thing may matter to an individual where that same thing may be on the bottom of the list for someone else. I love details. Some others may not. I look forward to pretty invitations and well set tables. Everyone took an arrangement home. Our first dance was a song played on the piano by my husbands sister who has been playing piano for the past 12 years, so that was another unique thing we had that guests enjoyed.
Most the other stuff on this list, I do agree no one really cared about. It really depends on the venue and the type of wedding you have I think as far as how popular certain parts of the wedding will be honestly, every wedding is different. The last wedding we went to, the bride and groom spent 2 years on Pinterest planning every small detail.
I saw the cake for a whole 5 minutes and never even knew what happened to it once they cut it and took it away. There was too much food, although good, everyone was so full that no one touched the dessert bar and candy bar. Wedding favors? Tacky and insulting! As a wedding professional, I have one comment.
The point a lot of people are missing is that brides tend to do things in a wedding to impress their guests. For all the women disagreeing with this article, ask yourself, why did you do what you did at your wedding? Was it because you innately wanted to do it, or was it because you wanted to impress guests?
I am a guy, married for ten years, personally involved in 12 weddings, and been to at least 20 more. This list is spot on, if you are trying to impress someone. If you really want to do it because you really want to, go for it. If you, as the bride and groom, want these things, then by all means have them. I, for one, toss your favor in the trash as soon as I get home unless I can eat it.
What I DO remember is that we were shoved outside in the middle of August in Oklahoma for an hour while they reset the room and was miserable in the heat, the guest book because sadly nobody expected them to be together long enough for the advice to be taken, and that they ran out of food early.
I love that this article has stirred up so much controversy. Hopefully it will make some folks question what they want. I am getting married again at age 55, and my fiance is A dear friend just sent me a note that expressed the same sentiments.
She has been happily married for 18 years and a very smart cookie. The whole point is to actually take the time to consider what really matters to you both. We have both waited a long time for a soulmate connection and he wants to shout it from the rooftops. People are coming from all over the country. So, we are planning a very personal ceremony on a mountaintop followed by a kick butt reception at a really pretty and inexpensive rec center.
When did it become so expected that a small fortune has to be sacrificed for this event? It feels a lot like the commercialization of Christmas. I think the party is for us AND our guests. Not everyone wants to diy their wedding, but I sure do. It gives me joy and satisfaction. My dress is from a consignment store. It was the first and only dress I tried on. We used Vista Prints to make invitations using our photo for 39 cents a piece on a special sale!
A friend has volunteered to coordinate for the day of…. And so on, and so on. We will spend on good food, music, drinks and photographer.
I have no doubts that it will be an amazing day without breaking the bank. This list was good for a laugh. I especially enjoyed reading the part the guests apparently care about the ceremony. In my experience the ceremony usually has less than half the amount of people that turn up at the reception which I find ao rude and insulting.
I love this list! If you have the money to spare, go ahead and spend a fortune on all the elaborate details. But the problem is the standard is set so high for those who cannot afford it and go into debt for their wedding when in reality, it is only one night and what people will remember most is the love between the couple, and having a good time. I agree with this list with the caveat that some things, especially the first dance, are for the couple not the guests.
I may remember them but I toss it after the event. This list is somewhat right but i really do think that people notice the flowers and the cake. You should add lighting to set the mood — it is the one thing that can take a drab place and make it feel special. A good meal is also very appreciated does not have to be expensive just good. Some of the best meals I have had have been chicken, while one of the worst is lobster. Some of these like the invitations and spending hundreds on flowers makes sense.
Others the author just comes off overly cynical. Majority of people keep candles in their homes and they get expensive rather quickly. As a wedding planner I would have to say you missed the just entirely here. I have been planning weddings fit well over 8 years and can honestly say that you not only sound like a cheap skate, but someone who is really out of touch with what most people want. My opinion always has been to never make a client feel bad about splurging on items that are a priority to them.
Your article should preface the fact that this is your very bad opinion…in poor taste but very persuasive nonetheless. Laughing over people getting so mad over this. Yep, no one cared about those months you spent planning gold tipped roses and a piece of paper in the post.
We picked hydrangeas that morning to furnish the venue. It looked lovely. Mum made jams and chutneys for the favours — something that everyone could actually use. And she made the cake too — simple but made with love. Far more significant to me. What mattered to me was the food and the music and that everyone enjoyed themselves. And everyone did exactly that.
This list is not worth a look. Have the wedding of your dreams whatever way it may be! When my daughter got married on a budget I asked to decide what 3 things were most important to her. If she had wanted a carriage ride to or from the venue — fine.
But she had to decide. I want a great photographer because the pictures will last forever, we found one whose work we had seen and really liked.
I only did a program cause the pastor insisted on one. It is really about what the Bride and Groom want. I would have to agree with this article. I felt this was a good list. I appreciate a nice invite and nowdays love the couples photo on them. It hangs on my frig until the date then sadly recycled. I also like reading a program but usually think people wasted money when they put them on high dollar paper, I will just recycle if it even makes it home with me.
Again very few people know the exact price of your dress unless you tell them. The only thing on the list I disagreed with was the first dance.
Flowers — only your flow-erst knows the truth. Again you can get beautiful flowers and not pay a fortune. You just expect flowers at a wedding. No one wants yucky cake but again not a place to spend a fortune for fancy extras. Less is more, but all white is boring. Put that money into food and drinks and good music!! Gifts for guests — why??
Please know I think make it your day but I agree really look into the extras and see where the money is better spent. As for as the comment about the cake and the dress is concerned, for your information, the dress and the cake are the most observed. Besides the groom, of course If a bride has no interest in looking her best or having a pretty cake, she needs to get married behind a barn somewhere. Yeah I also have to call BS on this list. The band 2.
The food 3. The venue 4. My dress 5. The cake 6. The invitations 7. The flowers 8. The placards and table menus. My guests were wowed by the smaller details I put into the wedding. I opted to do 1 large program sign vs individual programs because they always get thrown out right away.
But I received several compliments on my invitations, people adored my dress, they loved the flowers, and maybe my family are just dessert people but they made a fairly sizable deal over the cake. My advice to every bride out there would be: does it matter to YOU because if it does then make a big freaking deal about it.
So did the flowers, and the dress, and the cake. Who cares what the guests think though? This sounds like it was written by someone who regrets spending a bunch of money on their wedding. My dress is I love it. A bride may wish she spent less money and had a simple wedding but nothing beats having hundreds of pictures of all of these moments that you cared about.
Not because I care if people want the favor or not. Good read though. If you have a very limited budget you can still be creative and have a beautiful wedding! And call in favors to vendor friends to barter as gifts — win win.
I clicked on this link because I was interested in seeing your opinion but I was shocked your list covered so many great aspects of a wedding. My advice to brides is that if you want to do all of those things then do it.
You can find all of these great things in different price ranges and somethings are even DIY. Above all enjoy your wedding day. With over weddings under my belt I can say that this article is right on. Most brides and grooms are making their wedding a more intimate affair these days and keeping only what matters most to them. You definitely want to put your money where it will be appreciated the most in the long run.
While there are a few exceptions to the rule you should keep in mind…the more you try to impress the more you will stress… the more you stress, the more your day becomes a mess…so, concentrate on what makes you both happy. Great shared insights! Every couple their likes and dislikes are THE priority - and presumably their friends and families- put emphasis on different aspects.
Remember, this is a hopefully once-in-a-lifetime event. If this is how you feel as a guest, do your host a favor- respectfully decline, send a nice gift, and pray they are not as judgemental as yourself. Great article! Summed up and reconfirmed what I had been thinking about, and also helped to steer me in the right direction. Hotel Ballroom 3? Haha, exactly.
Also, right on with the cake, the dress, the flowers. Thank you for the great article. I agree with this article except for the comment on booze. Our first decision was our motto: No debt. No stress well okay, less stress. My partner enjoys photography so our Save the Date and wedding invitations featured a photograph of us in two of our favorite places taken by friendly passers-by. If something was important to us, like great food, we put money into it.
I received many compliments about the decor and the atmosphere. In the end we had a wedding that we and our guests enjoyed. I think that everyone is missing the point of this article.
I think the intent is to get brides and grooms to lighten up and relax about the details. As a florist I deal with brides almost everyday and so many are so stressed out about making everything perfect. Yes, guest do notice details but no one is going to declare your wedding a disaster if the roses in the centerpieces are half a shade off. The best weddings I have attended are the ones that really reflect the personalities of the couple, not the ones that look like perfect generic Pinterest pages.
Well looks like you just want a party! Why even get married in front of all those people you can just go to city hall. And my guests, 4 years later, still talk about how delicious our cake was; I have had 2 friends order the exact cake for their weddings. What a lame article. I am planning a wedding and thought these were great thoughts to move me in a direction of prioritizing expenses. It is correct that in a pintrest world some spend foolishly to keep up appearances. We had already implemented some of these ideas because we agree that people who come to celebrate with us are giving their time and sometimes money and we want to provide an enjoyable meal and a stress free day.
Busyness just creates unnecessary stress. It is like a grocery store, just put what you like in the cart and take it with you, leave the rest in the shelf for someone else.
I also disagree with some points of this article. I feel that some of these items may seem superfluous to many people, but the invitations were actually very important to my parents and grandparents. They even wanted extras to put into scrap books.
It definitely ups the entertainment factor. More importantly, YOU and your groom will notice these things in your photographs for years to come. Your guests are probably not strangers and probably have a rough idea of your income level, so their expectations will be measured. I noticed, other people noticed. Did it ruin our enjoyment of the wedding? But it did make me feel sorry for the bride and groom who probably still paid decent money for those things to come out lack-lustre at best.
All of the details listed are part of the overall experience. If you are going to skimp then go without. Flowers: Your wedding and your funeral are the two life occasions you should invest on gorgeous flowers. Unless you plan to start a wedding punch card and get your 6th wedding free , do it right and make it gorgeous. Yes, people do comment on the plastic flower rentals from the venue and the DIY train wrecks.
Hire a great florist, do it once and do it well. Invitation and Favors: Put thought into what you are giving!
Cake: in taste and design, the cake is one of many masterpieces of a wedding. The presentation is part of the experience and will be in your pictures forever!
The Dress: Are you kidding me!!!
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